Religiosity

I have a question and I want some real well thought out answers to this question. I've taken some anthropology classes at the U and all of those classes talked about religions of the different regions. I even had a class about the history of religion in the middle east. Now what I want to know is this: Do you take everything in the Old Testament, more precisely the portion before Noah, or do you read it as having a lot of good, interesting stories that tell you how you should be living your life? Stories full of values and morals and figures to look up to because of their actions in the text. I'm not saying that the Bible is false or that it didn't really happen. The fact of the matter is the Bible was written down hundreds and sometimes thousands of years after it happened. And the stories told in the Old Testament are not unique to Christianity. These stories are found in middle eastern religions regulary. They all influenced each other. Even a religion like the ones practiced in Egypt that you may look at as being different shares a lot with the Judeo-Christian traditions. Some things these religions have in common is a creation story, a disaster story, a predicted savior, and an end of times and judgment story. The stories may differ a little but when you look at them all in general they have a lot of similarities. At one point in the evolution of religion there was a god name Yaweh who we believe to be our God. The thing is he appeared before Judeo-Christian writings and in a different religion. He took over and removed the other gods leaving one all powerful god. I don't know if that story is true but knowing what we belive, that there are other gods and that we have the chance to become gods, it would make sense that maybe at one time there were other gods here on earth with Adam and Eve. Plus, we know from the temple and the scriptures that there were other people being taught the gospel of Satan and that Adam and Eve weren't listening or subscribing to those teachings. Who were these other people that Satan was teaching? It's an interesting thought. One that has always given me pause.

Now these thoughts all came about when Cheryl and I were having a conversation about the Bible. I pointed out that it seems like there are two different gods: an Old Testament god and a New Testament god. The Old Testament god is the scary, vindictive, unforgiving god and the New Testament god is one full of forgivness, charity, and turning the other cheek. Old Testament (OT) god says and eye for an eye where New Testament (NT) god says turn the other cheek. I've heard it said that God will never give up on you yet he gave up on all the people in Noah's day and he destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. OT god was a strict task master that said if you don't do everything by the book then you have no chance. NT god said that as long as you treat others as you would have them treat you you'll be fine. Now of course he said that through Jesus but as Jesus was God's mouthpiece we have to assume that it came straight from Him. But it really seems like two different gods in these two books.

Now if you want to take it further and compare those 2 to the god in the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants there is a little difference there as well. The god in the Book of Mormon is almost a composite of the Bible gods. He is a by the books god but he is forgiving. He does have some instances where it seems like he has given up on a group of people because of their wickedness and they are destroyed by the righteous. On the other hand the Book of Mormon is full of stories of redemption like Alma. I think the Book of Mormon (BOM) god is the most complex and seemingly human of the gods portrayed in the 3 books.

Then you have the modern god in the Doctrine and Covenants. This god is hard to describe because there isn't much written about him from the perspective of the people who have seen him through visions and had revelations from him. Judging from the Prophets of the LDS church and the Apostles he is a very kind and forgiving god but he has high expectations from his children. I think that is the real god. There are rules that have been set forth but those rules aren't hard and fast like rules set forth in the OT. You can be forgiven if you're willing to do the work. And you are rewarded for following the rules by not having to deal with the consequences of making bad decisions.

So this takes us back to the original argument; should the Bible be read as a history book or should it be read as a book with a lot of good stories about how we should live and what will happen if we should make the wrong choice? Were Adam and Eve really born 6000 years ago? Was the whole world really flooded and one man was able to build a ship and have 2 of every animal on it in the world? Was Lot's wife really turned into a pillar of salt because she turned around and looked at the city as she was leaving? Did Moses really lead the people through the desert by following a pillar of fire from the sky? Did he really talk with a burning bush? You've got me. I read those stories with a grain of salt. I don't think they all happened literally. I think some may have happened and I think that most have been blown out of proportion as stories do when they are passed down through generations orally. Then you have the poorly translated King James version where whole passages were left out because they thought the same meaning could be given in less words. We still don't know how much was really left out.

Having said all that I must say that I do believe Jesus to be the savior of the world. I believe that if you follow the commandments and the teachings in the Bible and the Book of Mormon you will live a very righteous life. I believe in the process of repentance and forgivness. I have a strong testimony of those things. And yet I don't believe the Bible should be taken literally as it is written. I am probably in the minority with this but that is the conclusion I have come to with my studies. I'm not discouraging anyone from reading those books, I'm actually encouraging people to read them. I just know the consequences that come from people reading books and taking them literally. It never leads to good things. We end up with religious extremists. We have Muslims blowing up buildings and cars and people because of a passage that says the Infidels should die. We have abortion clinics being bombed in the name of religion. We had a whole war between European Christians and Middle Eastern Muslims in the name of religion because of what they read in a book. That's not right. That's not what the book was written to inspire. That's not what any religious book was written to inspire. There is not one religion in the world that preaches hatred of others, that preaches violence against non-believers.

Those are called extremests.

Thanks for reading.

Thank you Geekshow

My friend and I go to Geekshow Movie Night once a month. It is the last Sunday of the month every month. It is a chance to sit down in a theater with a bunch of like minded people and watch some of your favorite geek movies. Last night I went to the March movie night. It was a green theme so we watched Leprichan in the Hood and Teenage Mutatant Ninja Turtles. I of course wore my new shirt that Miranda got me for my birthday and a hat that I bought for Saint Patricks Day. I had my green on. The shirt was pure geek. It's green, has a picture of an old Atari joystick, and says "Represent" across the bottom. The hat is a fedora style with clovers all over it and a Guiness label on the side. I was rockin' it. I even got some compliments on my attire. This all takes place in a movie theatre/bar called Brewvies in downtown SLC. If you haven't been you should go. It's fun and you should support a local business. Plus, without more support there may no longer be movie nights. So this is a great distraction for me and my friend. We go to this and have a great time. Picture this: a theater full of geeks, full of beer and other libations, all yelling their own comments at the screen a la Mystery Science Theater 3000 style and everyone laughing their guts out. It can't get better than that. Of course it's more fun when you've seen the movie a hundred times yourself. Then you feel better when you yell out something and everyone laughs at what you contributed. It is a great activity if you don't mind the not so occasional swear.

So now they have put out the idea that we should have a family night sometimes where we would show a movie that is family friendly but still geeky, like The Muppets, at a different theater and then show a regular geek movie at Brewvies later. I think this is great as long as it doesn't happen too often. This is something I look forward to all month long becuase it's a break from my life. Along with this blog and mountain biking, this is something that allows me to forget about my life, my problems, my financial struggles, bills, being poor, insert issue here. I like to share these things with my family but sometimes they are the reason I need to get away. Sorry but I don't think anyone can spend all their time with their family and if they can there's something wrong with them.

This is where workaholics, strip club customers, people like me who go see geeky movies with a bunch of drunk geeks get their outlets. They get away. Whatever your family life is like, whether you have lots of kids, no kids, or if you live by yourself, you need to escape your life. You need to clear your head. Do that however you want it doesn't really matter. Just make sure when your done you are better for it. You'll feel better, you'll see the world better, you'll be better able to deal with your own life. Trust me and just do it.

Now, for April's movie night they will be showing the original "Planet of the Apes" and "Every Which Way but Loose." Did you pick up on the theme? "Ape"ril. Get it? HA!

Thanks for reading

Why I love Idolers

So yesterday I had my first Facebook fight. It was HILARIOUS!! I really must commend all who participated. This all started when Big Budha let us all know that David Archuleta was going to sing at half-time for the Blaze first home game this year. I commented and said,"Booooo!" That was all it took to start the fire storm. I can't believe how sensitive they all were; how upset they were that someone had the temerity (a word they probably wouldn't know the definition) to disagree with them. They were, in a word, pissed. So, I decided to have a little fun with them. This went on all day yesterday. I was called a bunch of dirty names by people who purported to be members of the LDS church. I was berated by housewives who probably have little crushes on David. I was told that no one liked me, including my mom, and I should shut up. All this because I had the gall to express my opinion of something that is very trivial at best. I spent the day defending my position and telling everyone why I don't like American Idol and David Archuleta but they were intent on saying that by doing that I was insulting everyone that watches that show. I was told sarcastically that I knew better than millions of people and I could probably walk on water. Of course that post was horrendously spelled so I hope I got the gist of it. I had very few defenders of my right to express my opinion in this country but I did have one. I immediately made her my facebook friend. Even though she didn't agree with me, she did defend me. That was nice.

So let's take this a step further. When someone presents a dissenting opinion in this country they are shot down and called all kinds of things like un-patriotic and obstructionist. We are told that we don't love our country and we want the terrorists to win. I wonder what people would say now about such luminaries as Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and George Washington. I don't believe one of them would agree with where our country is right now. They would be ashamed that our country is not only commenting on foreign governments' policies but that we are actively inserting ourselves into their countries and interfering with their governing practices no matter how corrupt or evil they are. They believed that we should only get involved when we were directly threatened. That has happend twice in our history: WWI and WWII. Every war since then has been "illegal" in essence. Now I don't want terroists around anymore that you do but we have to have better intelligence before we go rushing into a country or else we get stuck in wars that last way too long and don't really accomplish anything other than upsetting the locals.

Now I don't want to turn this into a political debate but I do want to point out how our country has changed. We can't post opinions about anything without insulting someone or being called names because your a dissenter. I hate that freedom of speech has been handcuffed and thrown down the stairs. It apparently only applies to people who make up the fact that they are being stifled by the "mainstream media" when in reality they are just spouting entertainment for the unwashed masses. Yes, I'm talking about Hannity, Limbaugh, and our precious Glenn Beck. These people have more power than any one individual in this country because they control what some very vocal supporters believe. It's scary to think about that. There are millions of people in this country that can't think for themselves but, rather, rely on some radio show to tell them what to believe.

So let me get back to Idolers. Tara, I'm not talking about you or, for that matter, most people who watch the show. I am talking about a select few, I'm sure, that must have everyone agree with them. I don't care what you believe as long as you are educated about it. Do some research and make sure you know what you're talking about before you go spouting off opinions. Insults and put-downs don't count as cogent arguments. Think for yourself so that you can truly be free and let all others believe what they want. Hopefully it won't cause any big Facebook fights.

Thanks for reading.

Huzzah for Tax Returns

We finally got our tax return. YAY! And half of it is gone already. YAY! Of course it went to a good cause. Our Disneyland vacation. YAY! We have a measly 18 days left before we leave. I'm so excited. It's been 7 years since I last went to Disneyland. Jacob was 4, Chaunie was 2, and TJ was a sparkle in Cheryl's eye. It's going to be so fun.

So now that the fun stuff is out of the way let's talk about the healthcare bill that was just passed. I work at the USHS which is located in the Rio Grande building. It sits right next to the homeless shelter. Every morning I walk from the trax station to work and I pass the line of homeless people waiting in line for breakfast. These aren't just men or women who don't want to work. Granted some of them are but the majority of the people I see fall into 2 categories: mentally handicapped people and families. These people don't have insurance. The homeless shelter is great because they provide some much needed care. They give them food and a place to stay but they also help them find housing and a job. They are there to help people get back on their feet. There is a free clinic associated with the Road Home (the homeless shelter) to provide free and low cost healthcare to those people. After they leave the shelter they need to continue to have care. And I'm not talking about the mentally handicapped because they do have healthcare; they have Medicaid. I'm talking about the families and children who aren't getting what they need. But thanks to the inept Democrats and the self serving Republicans we got stuck with a watered down healthcare bill that won't really do much for anyone but the worst of the worst. That may be a start but let's run some numbers here. I have health insurance. It's through Cheryl's work and we don't have to pay anything for it. That's a benefit of Cheryl being a manager. Everyone at her work has the same insurance but managers just don't have to pay for it. We have a deductible for a family that is $3500 I believe. It could be more, I'll have to check. Cheryl let me know that the vision coverage gives us 1 preventive check-up per year and they don't cover contacts or glasses. Forget laser surgery. What good is this coverage that doesn't cover anything? I have to pay for pretty much everything when I or any of my family needs healthcare. So how does this new healthcare bill help me?

Frankly it doesn't really help me. It requires everyone to have healthcare but they removed the government option. That could really help someone like me where we have no other options but the one from Cheryl's work and we don't qualify for government healthcare programs. It regulates the insurance industry a little by saying they can't deny coverage for pre-existing conditions and they removed the lifetime coverage amount. That's great. They can still hand me a bill for a deductible though. So who ends up paying for it in the end? I do. You do. We all do. There is no competition for the insurance industry. There are no other options for insuring. We are all at the mercy of an industry that made billions of dollars in profits in one quarter. They don't make money by giving you coverage; they make money by denying you coverage. The Incredibles is my favorite cartoon. If you've seen it you've seen Bob Parr at work at the insurance company. I believe that to be quite close to the truth of how those companies work.

So the healthcare bill passes and what happens next? Well, Utah along with 10 other states is now suing the federal government saying that this bill is unconstitutional. This is exactly what the Republicans wanted and why? To win the next election. It's all connected to power. That's why not one Republican would work to make this happen but instead they all decided to be obstructionists and just said no to everything that was proposed. Instead of moving us towards a one payer system like in Canada we were handed this watered down bill so that the Democrats can all pat themselves on the back and say look what we did. We reformed the industry.

I'm not buying it and I hope your not buying it either. I want to be able to go to the hospital and get care without worrying what I'll end up paying for this. I want to go to the emergency room with my wife when she gets a concussion and get her the care she needs without worrying if we went to a hospital that is covered by my insurance. I have $5000 in medical bills right now that we are trying to pay off as fast as we can but that's not good enough for the providers so they send the wolves after us in the form of collection agencies and lawyers.

So this brings me back to our tax return. The rest of our tax return will most likely end up in some provider’s hands where it will promptly be turned over to their insurance companies that protect them from getting sued. So my money will still end up going to an insurance company in the end. Thanks for the coverage. You can shove it.

Thanks for reading.

Welcome to my Monday

So, I was thinking last night. I like to write. I've always liked to write. Not necessarily for school assignments or work projects but rather for fun. I enjoy updating my blog and I hope more people will be willing to read it. For now I'm just writing it for me.

Writing for me is like reading. When you are assigned a book to read in english class it's the worst book you've ever read. However, Since graduation I've gone back and read some of those books and quite enjoyed them. There was only one book I read in english class that I enjoyed at the time: The Great Gatsby. I still really like that book. But I've also read other books like The Good Earth which I hated at the time. I really liked it the second time around. Since high school I've read a lot more than I did then. But now it's books that I choose, books that are interesting to me.

Back to writing. I can't stand writing assignments. But I can keep up a blog and have fun with it. This isn't a chore. It's an outlet. I really enjoy sharing my thoughts and feelings with anyone who wants to read it. Even if no one wants to read it I get some benefit from putting down my thoughts. Plus I get to ask everyone,"Hey, have you seen my blog?"

So here's some thoughts: Screw congress for giving us a watered down healthcare bill that won't help me, Screw Toyota for putting out an inferior product and knowing about it while trying to cover it up, thanks to everyone who remembered my birthday and made it great, and thanks to everyone for reading my blog. Let everyone know to come check it out. I need comments so that I can have discussions about things that interest myself and anyone reading.

Again, thanks for reading.

Well, it's Thursday.

I really have nothing to write about today. I got a new hat yesterday. I think that may have been the highlight of the day. Plus it was half off. Bonus. We also bought some pants for Chaunie and a shirt for TJ. My day yesterday was quite boring and regular. Absolutely nothing happened yesterday to warrant blogging about. Nothing went wrong and nothing was out of place. There were no surprises. I got my first issue of Y: The Last Man. I started reading that and am loving it. So maybe this blog will be a "what I am reading now" entry.

So I have read the first Fables book and the first Ex Machina book. Both look promising. And as I said before I read the first Y: The Last Man book. Loved it. I am also reading The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. I am in the second book which is the Restaurant at the end of the Universe. It's really fun to read. I would suggest reading any of the classics, of course, and anything from Edgar Rice Burroughs. I really like Pirates of Venus and Moon Men. Pixar is currently working on a John Carter movie (live action) down in southern Utah. Exciting. I also recommend Soon I Will Be Invincible for anyone who likes super hero stories. It tells the story from the villains point of view. I liked it.

If you are into geeky stuff like comic books or video games please listen to Geekshow Podcast. No they are not paying me. It is a must for any fans.

By the way, for my birthday my lovely and understanding wife got me a remote control R2-D2. I have been asking for it for a year. I wanted to get it for Christmas but didn't. I love you Cheryl. Even though you don't read my blog.

If anyone has any suggestions on something to read please let me know. I am looking for new comic series to pick up. I like reading the trades because I don't like to wait for the individual books.

Thanks for reading.

Riding

Today was the first day this season that I got to ride my bike to work. It was a little chilly, I won't lie. More invigorating though. I love riding. I forgot how much I love riding when I was 16 or 17 and was blinded by hormones and beautiful women. I have almost been married now for 12 years and it has taken this long for me to get back into it more seriously. I have someone to ride with now that Chauntay has inherited an interest. She loves it about as much as I do. She's been maybe 3 times and she's already hardcore. I wish Jacob liked it more. He looks at it like it's a chore. I hope someday that all 5 of us will be able to go and enjoy riding as a family. And I hope to do it for a long while.

So last weekend I got all of my bikes and Chaunie's bike prepped for spring riding. It snowed. So I started to plan for this weekend and I even got a pseudo commitment from my friend Theon to go riding as long as it was on an easy trail. I was planning on riding the Shoreline Trail. Thursday and Friday it is supposed to rain and snow. Now I understand that it is March still but for crying out loud! I want to ride. That's why I said forget it I'm riding to work today. It may be the only riding I get to do this week. I guess I have to start looking at the next weekend for riding.

I love riding for a lot of reasons that everyone can probably agree with. I love riding because it's fun to ride through the forest or whatever and go fast and feel the adrenaline flowing through your veins. I love riding because it's good exercise. But my number one reason for riding is the calm that I get from riding. After a good long ride I'm tired, sore, maybe a little beat up, but I feel calm and fulfilled. There is nothing else that I can do to replicate that feeling. I feel good for the rest of the week. It's a week long high. I love it. It also keeps my kwirks in check. I am a lot happier, less anxious, and generally easier to get along with when I ride on a regular basis. If you have never ridden a mountain bike please try it once. Even if you go up to a ski resort and ride the lift up and ride your bike down because you don't want to ride up. Do it. You will not regret riding. If not riding, hike. Get back to nature. Commune. Enjoy. Meditate. And you will be a better person for it.

Thanks for reading

It's Official

I am now 30. As of 3:10 am this morning. Exciting, I guess. Like I said before I really don't know how getting older should feel. If anyone can enlighten me on this please let me know.

I have told everyone that asks me what I want for my birthday to surprise me. Sure there are things I want (God of War III, my PS3 fixed, a new car) but I want to see how well people know me. I know I drop hints all the time I just wonder if anyone knows how to pick up on them. Well my family, you have until Sunday to figure that out. Cheryl is surprising me with something that she won't tell me. I'm excited to find out.

People always talk about the best gift they ever got for their birthday. It's usually something that a lot of thought was put into and it took them off guard. I don't know if I've ever had something like that. I've had a lot of good gifts in the past but nothing I wasn't really expecting. I've had surprises but even they were the type that I could've seen coming. So for all of you planning on getting me something, surprise me.

I am going to spend my birthday working, eating food that I want (Rio Grande Cafe's Tuesday special) and probably relaxing the way I want. I usually take my birthday off but we need the money and I don't get paid time off. With Disneyland coming up we need all the money we can get. Come on feds, I'm still waiting for that check.

I feel really good this morning and that's what your birthday should feel like. I hope to have a great day and it's always interesting to see how many people remember it's my birthday. Not counting my family, 2 people so far as of this writing have remembered. I hope many more will by the end of the day.

Thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday to me!

It's my birthday coming up. I will be 30 at 3:10 am tomorrow morning. It's funny to think that I'm that old but I feel like I just left high school. I don't really feel old. Of course how am I supposed to know what old feels like? I read comic books, play video games, ride my bike in the mud and love it. At the same time I have bad knees and feet and occasionally I throw out my back. Maybe that's old. of course I've had that for a while. I still get excited to see what I get for gifts for my birthday and for Christmas. I am just a big kid for sure. I look at the toys when we go shopping, not for the kids but for me. And by the way there are some really cool toys out now. I like to read books that I read when I was young. Edgar Rice Burroughs is still one of my favorite authors. I wouldn't consider him a literary genius or anything but the stories he tells are just great. Sci fi and pirates, warring aliens and people made out of goo for sport. I love them.
As we get old are we supposed to wax nostalgic about our past? Are we supposed to think back fondly of growing up, going to school, making and losing our friends? I have stayed in touch with one person from high school on any kind of regular basis. And she has such a crazy schedule that we hardly get to speak. Cheryl works with someone that I went to school with and I've talked to her once. So I don't know what getting old should feel like. I feel like me. And I always will feel like me.
The only way I can tell I'm getting older is the amount of responsibility I incur. Your bills are directly proportionate to your age. The amount of junk in your house is also directly proportionate to your age. Doesn't matter how hard you try to dejunk your house, kids and spouses will spoil it. So enjoy the ride. It will last as long as you do.

I fought the law...

So I'm just going to dive right in with this one today. I had a bad day yesterday. Cheryl had a bad day yesterday. We have this long running issue going on with our dentist about some disputed charges. It's been going on for 3 years now. I won't go into detail now because it would take all day. Needless to say it was sent to collections about 2 weeks ago. It has now been turned over to a law firm and is probably being filed for court as I write this. Because of the recent events we now owe $1000 more than the original bill. Does this sound right to you? The law firm probably picked up the debt from the collection agency for pennies on the dollar and they are still going to try to squeeze everything out of us. If they do we won't be able to pay our bills, buy food, get to work using gasoline. It's flat out rediculous.

Say what you want about our president and his 1 trillion dollar healthcare bill but all of this would have been avoided if we had a 1 payer system. If we lived in Canada this wouldn't be an issue. I am so pissed off at not just the Republicans for stalling and saying NO to everything just because it was proposed by a Democrat, but I'm also pissed at the weak Democrats. Apparently you can't get anything done when you have a majority. Get this stupid thing passed so that people like me who are poor and can't afford good quality issurance don't continue to get screwed by insurance companies. Why is this such a big issue? Please give me a reasonable argument why we can't insure our population. We spend more now on the people who are treated in emergency rooms without insurance than we would with universal healthcare. Run down the list of countries that have universal healthcare. How many of them are socialist? How many of them are going to hell in a handbasket because they don't have to worry about exhorbatant medical costs? It makes me sick.

So now we have to figure out how to pay these bastards or we get our lovely day in court. Who do you think will win?

Thanks for reading.

Where will I be....

I have goals in my life believe it or not. Some of them even include working. I have always wanted to live a rich leisurely life. I have always wanted to travel and see the world. I have a huge list of places that I want to see before I die. I'm not too much into the skydiving, climbing Mt. Everest, hiking the Appalachian Trail (the real trail dirty people) but rather I want to see Rome, Paris, Tokyo, and those kinds of things. Some of my strange goals include living in Polynesia, living the life they live. Or maybe joining the Peace Corps and helping out with underprivileged nations. I would love to experience the world through the eyes of the people and not the eyes of a tourist. Some of my dreams have passed me by. I will never play for a NBA team, I probably won't be a mountain bike racer professionally, and I never did go on a LDS mission. Not realizing my dreams wasn't the end of the world, disappointing yes, but life went on.

My goals have evolved. Now I want to raise good kids. I want to pay my bills. I want to enjoy myself on the weekends going to dinner with friends and riding my bike with my family. I want to get in shape. I want to learn more about cooking. I want to play video games. And the strange thing about all of these goals is that I'm living them now. These goals are not far away in the future, they are happening every day. My kids are good kids. TJ just got straight 5's on his report card which corresponds to straight A's plus he was above average in all categories. I have to pay him 10 bucks now. Jacob is growing and becoming a man much quicker than I ever thought he would. Chauntay is a beautiful and talented young woman. She surprises me with her sweetness and thoughtfulness all the time. I got a small promotion at work so I can pay my bills and have a lot left over for enjoying the weekends. I cook routinely. I find new recipes and new ways of cooking on the internet and in cookbooks. I am riding my bike more now than when I first got married. I have joined a gym and have a weekly routine. And, yes, I play video games frequently.

So if you want to read this as a goal sheet, that's not really what it is. There is still more goals that I would like to accomplish in my life but for now I'm happy to be living my life the way I should right now.

Thanks for reading.

Explanation

So I have started my blog. I don't suppose anyone is really reading it yet. That will hopefully come with time. I just wanted to take a minute and explain why I am doing a blog. I really needed a space to express myself. That's probably the same reason most people have for blogging. I've avoided it because of the commitment. I hate reading someones blog and then realizing that it ended 2 years ago and they will probably never come back to it. I am going to try to keep up with this until I have nothing else to say. This is my forum. This is where I am free to express my views on all topics. If you wish you may skip over ones dealing with religion, politics, sports, or whatever you don't find interesting. I may offend some people and that's ok. Everyone should be offended at least once in their lives. But what you must understand is that is not the goal. I just wanted somewhere to vent my frustrations, set some goals, revel in my achievments, and maybe get some opinions of yours through comments and email. I don't expect to turn anyone to my way of thinking, I don't expect you to agree with me. Feel free not to. This is my open forum.

Thanks for reading.

Monday

I really don't like Monday. And it's not for the same reasons that most people do. I was actually quite excited to come to work today. Don't ask why. I haven't been excited for work in a long time and it actually feels pretty good. You probably want me to say that I had an inspiring weekend or some kind of epiphany that put me in such a good mood. No offense to my friends for taking me out to dinner for my birthday and giving me "Where the Wild Things Are". I think I can attribute my feelings for this Monday to my pills. I'm up to 6 pills now that I must take every morning to function properly. I have two pills for depression, two for anxiety, one for heartburn, one to help me concentrate, and who knows, maybe there will be more in the future. I have always thought that taking a pill for all the things that bother you was a sign of weakness. But I must say I feel pretty damn good right now. I'm happy. I haven't been able to say that for a few years now. Each week brought new problems for me. Kids, school, work, bills, housework, keeping my wife sane and happy. I have been taking all of these things on my own shoulders and dealing with them myself. These pills have helped me sort through my life and get my head on straight. Back to Mondays.

Monday is that day that makes you realize that everything you did over the weekend was really just a fantasy and this is real life. Kinda sucks to realize that your life consists of working, getting frustrated, getting angry, having arguments, taking breaks to breathe, figuring out how to get through the last hour of the day so that you can go sit in traffic for an hour to get home where you are greeted by children who are happy to see you (which doesn't last long, I'll explain), a dirty house because the kids didn't do their chores (there you go), dinner has to be made because I'm the cook. If I don't do it we end up having chili or soup at 8:30 pm when the kids should be in bed. When I get to settle down at 9 or 9:30 to watch some TV I usually get about an hour or so to watch and then it's off to bed to start all over the next day. Now the next day is never as hard. And each day gets better until Friday rolls around and the fantasy of living free returns. That's why Mondays suck. That's just how I feel.

But like I said at the beginning I was very excited to come into work today. Yes it's Monday and it goes against everything I just said but I feel happy, I feel good, I feel calm. It's going to be a good day.

Thanks for reading.